I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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