i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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