am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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