God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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