look no pants
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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