Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
