dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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