Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
