Non-Jews are for practice
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
