there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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