doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
