I just cut my nipple shaving
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize