i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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