Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies