last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!