We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it