TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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