Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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