So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
