dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
