Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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