You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just tell him i said nine months
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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