JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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