lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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