my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Houston, we have a blender
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
