I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize