I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
