i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
