I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
