porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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