found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
