she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
