At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
