Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize