yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER