I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it