Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.

(760): View more from California

Wow.

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(214): View more from Texas

I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.

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(813): View more from Florida

Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless

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(519): View more from Ontario

How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'

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