Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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