I'm laying in your front yard are you home
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.