I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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