i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
