according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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