Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
