I will die if light touches me.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
