Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
