I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
