he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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