the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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