I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
