I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
