did you get engaged???
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
