And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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