Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
