I can tuck mytits in my pants
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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