I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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