that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
