What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
