btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
