Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Boobs are out for the taking
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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