I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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