Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
