Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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