Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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