Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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