If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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