I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
