Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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