Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
